LosT...

I have an identity crisis, I am lost in my own world. Let me enumerate by the various conversations I have with various people !

Identity 1 (Trying to mingle)

With my higly intelligent classmates.

Me: Hello Francis...

Francis: Hello Murtaza...

Me:**serious voice** Exercise 4.10 in the 1st volume was very tough!!!

Francis:Hmmm...i guess not cos i could do it easily...

Me: [:o]....! Woah...i better finish it before mr.benedict punishes me again!


Identity 2 (Trying to mingle...AGAIN!!)

With the not so intelligent ones.

Me: Hey macha..what you doin ??

A not so intelligent guy: Nothing da, just finishing my math homework.

Me:Hey ass leave it, not like that ****** is gona do anything ??

ANSIG:Hmmmm...ok da....so what did u do yesterday...

**conversation drifting off to various other things**


Identity 3 (A spoilt Brat)

With my mom.

Mom:Eat your lunch, you are gona spoil your appetite if you dont eat at the rite time.

Me:Dont bother mom. This is my business.

Mom:This is my business too....

Me:Awww...watever!!! Its not as if i really enjoy your food.

Mom:**Stops lecturing and leaves**

Me:**Smirks and contemplates his razor sharp tongue**


Identity 4 (The model Son)

With Mom in the presence of someone's company.

Me:Mom...a splendid meal you have made today!

Mom:Thank you **ignores wat happened the previous meal**

Me:And i have did the job you told me, even cleaned my room.

Mom:**Beaming towards her lil devilish-angel**


Identity 5 (The model Brother)

With cousins, especially my cousin sisters.

Cousin:Bhai(brother in hindi, gujrati etc...) can u do me a favour.

Me:Yes sure...wat is it ??

Cousin:Can you do this and that and this.....(list goes on) ???

Me:Sure **smiles the best he can, after all she is a lil sister**


Identity 6 (The bully)

With my brother(though the below conversation dsnt mean that i dont like my brother).

Brother:Can I use the computer ?

Me:Get lost I am using it !

Bro:Can you transfer the songs you promised in my mp3 player ??

Me:Get lost I am busy !

Bro:You are always rude to me !

Me:Hahaha..Since your birth!!

**The brother goes away angry and wishing me all sorts of ill luck**


Identity 7 (The Mature one)

This is the identity I use to talk with the big and very small boys nd girls, aunts and uncles, and people whom i have just been acquainted to and not actually met. The conversation is usually laced with sarcasm and humour. This is supposed to be my most comfortable identity ! This is the only time need to think before i utter the next word ! The other identities, i dont need to think before i can even talk.

The Conversational Partner 1:Yes Murtaza, did i hear that you are going to mental development classes ?

Me:Hmmm.....Relatively yes...and i would advice you to join too. The company would be appreciated and hopefully the classes would help u too ....

If the TCP recognises the insult

TCP1:**makes a sour face, and tries to change the topic or gets away as fast as possible**

And if the TCP dsnt....

TCP1:Hmmm...yea it would be a good idea...i would enjoy your company too...

Me:**Smirks and continues the conversation with another topic**


With someone else.

Me:Thats a beautiful dress your are wearing....

TCP2:**Beaming radiantly** Thank You

Me:Though it would have looked beautiful on Aiswarya....**Gets away before the other person sniffs out my jab**

With someone else

TCP3:Hey Murtaza cant you come to the party ? You can just forget your promise!

Me:The words shoot like the bullets off a gun, for they come not back, besides more is at sake, for this act by some, i loose more than what i gain.

TCP3:**utterly confused** OHHHHKKKK....But you will gain nothing by keeping your promise!

Me:Some actions are not weighed for what you gain and for what one loses, they are the reflection of ones self respect and have to be carried out, notwitstanding for what they bring.

TCP3:**head spinnig** OHHHKKK...**leaves before he/she is knocked unconcious...

Me:**Sighs** No...one understands me!!!

This Identity has many conversational examples, I have lost patience in writing them all down!


Identity 8 (The Immature One)

This is self explanatory. The conversation would be more helpful!

TCP:Wassup man ??

Me:The ceiling ??

TCP:Hey ass dont make mokkais (pj's)....

Me:Hmmm....then i guess you meant the sky ??

TCP:Your bloody ASS!!!!

Me:Ahhhhh....thats not up but down!!!! [:p]

TCP:Arrgghhh!!!!

Me:**Leaves before the scene gets preety ugly**






Hmmmmm.....so many identities !!! I have even forgotten which of the above is the real Murtaza !!! Or for the matter if the real Murtaza is even up there!!![not to be confused with being dead!!]

BAD ENGLISH..!!

There is this deep, dark, terrible secret of mine. In spite of the fact that I write so much(like blogs and in communities and i have even attempted writing books !), I don't know a verb from an adverb and a noun from a pronoun (poor mr.Gregory, he tried so much to teach me, hmmm...actually he did'nt). The past tense and past continuous tense sound fancy enough but make no sense to me. I get by though because I know when a sentence sounds right and when it dosen't.

The world's largest selling word processing software can't do that. Punch these stupid lines into MS Word and see for yourself.

"I want to marketer. I market good. You know what mean I? Internets help me marketing. Internets make good brand best like Coca-Cola. Bill Gates is been my Idol. Gates do good marketing in Microsoft. Gates do good marketing jobs out Microsoft. The Gates is leader of big company in Washington. Gates keeping Gates open for Gates. Warren buffet do awesome job in marketing. Buffets eat buffets in Chennai, Delhi, Mumbai and Kolkatta, and in India."

Now run a spell and grammar check. The software reckons this is perfect English. And I am the King of England!

ABOUT ME!!!

I am a boy!!!(Only a boy and nothing else)

I love to eat!!!!(Civilised food, food that is digestable, food made by human beings, food not swallowed by a rabid creautre and spatted ouT!!!! u get my drift, unlike KFI's)

I am 17 years 112 days 4 hours and 30 minutes young wen i wrote this( and i can assure that everything is true to the best of my MOM"S knowledge)

I studied all my life at BEDE's(1st to 12th), I love that school even if some stupid management which used to own cosmetics research labs earlier runs this school, for me my school is my school! NO COMMENTS!!!!

I love my cell, i cant speak without it!!!! I even speak to my cousins, aunties, uncles and etc...etc.... using my cell, though they live a stones throw away (and no i hav never throwed stones at them to measure the distance!!!!)

I love the sea, wud love to drown everyone i dont like in it!!!!!

I love kolkatta, i hav kolkatta's blood in me, matter of luck i was born in chennai

I love to write, have started writing 5 books but havnt finished ny of them!!!!

I love this blog, cos its FREE!!!!!!!

I would love to get a NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, i am even ready to kill for IT!!!!

I have a photographic memory, just don't have film!!!

I am dead, i once got scared half to death twice!!!!

Thats all i need to tell the world about myself!!!!! If u need to know more then your are interfering!!!!!!